Fericirea…nu are gust, nici forma, nici miros…nu stim cum arata, nu o putem cuantifica, nu este palpabila…si totusi o cautam, o simtim, o afirmam si ne agatam de ea ca niste naufragiati de o scandura intr-o mare furibunda…

Ne devine un tel, ne-o dorim cu disperare atunci cand n-o avem…iar cand o avem, cum ne dam seama? Este intr-adevar Ea sau un surogat? Sau ne amagim singuri ca suntem fericiti atunci cand ne incearca o bucurie de moment?

Este fericirea zambetul pe care prima zi de primavara ti-l smulge fara sa vrei, in plina strada, cand in sfarsit ti-ai ridicat pleoapele obosite de atata gri si vezi albastrul cerului si verdele crud?  Atunci cand simti pe piele razele plapande ale soarelui, cand vantul cald iti sopteste : ”trezeste-te, este o noua zi…”

Este fericirea ceea ce simti cand auzi un multumesc, cand vezi zambetul din ochii celuilalt, si stii ca o parte infima din acel zambet esti tu? Sau fericirea consta in a-i veghea somnul celui iubit, a-i simti respiratia langa pieptul tau si linistea din suflet? Este fericirea stolul de fluturi din stomac, emotia a ce urmeaza sa se intample, sau ceea ce simti cand iubesti ca un nebun, fara tine, fara limite? 

Sau clipa in care poti sa uiti de toate, de tine, de haosul din viata ta, de regrete, de temeri si de amintiri? Acea pretioasa clipa a prezentului, fara asteptari, fara consecinte, in care savurezi o cafea pe o terasa, privind lumea din jur ca intr-un film mut, rupt de toate si de tot, acea pretioasa clipa care este doar a ta?

 Poate fericirea inseamna doar lipsa nefericirii. Acele momentele in care nu esti cazut in genunchi simtind ca timpul a stat in loc, si singura dimensiune pe care o percepi  este durerea… acele momente in care lacrimile ti-au secat, in care resemnarea  ti se asterne in suflet ca o mult asteptata moleseala , in care poti ridica iar fruntea si spune “fie ce-a fi”?

Poate ca fericirea difera in functie de universul fiecaruia… Atunci cand tot ce cunosti e disperare, fericirea poate insemna momentele de calm intre doua furtuni…Iar cand ti se pare ca ai totul, oare mai poti gasi ceva care sa te faca fericit?

 Poate ca fericirea este suma miilor de bucurii de moment ce te inconjoara ca o mare de fulgi de zapada, fiecare perfect in felul lui, fiecare topindu-se pe masura ce te atinge, facand loc altuia si altuia si altuia… si poate, pierzandu-te in a le savura efemera existenta, uiti de nevoia disperata de a gasi “fericirea”, de a fi “fericit”, si te lasi liber sa simti ceea ce ti se intampla, cu bune si rele, cu sperante si dezamagiri, cu zambete si lacrimi…

Poate asta e fericirea…pur si simplu sa fii.

Leave A Comment, Written on February 14th, 2012 , just thoughts

Drawing portraits sometimes goes deeper than taking photos. It’s about playing with the expressions and the reactions you want, it’s about controlling the amount of light you need in order to reveal all the little details that makes us what we are. But who are we? And are all those little details enough to reveal also the shadows burried deep in our souls? The wounds or the scars? Our fears? Our strenghts and weaknesses?
If we were to draw a portrait with nothing but words as our painting kit, how would we do it? Where would we start? How would we use the light to uncover the little details?
We’d ask questions? Funny ones, stupid ones, serious ones, indiscrete ones?
Would the portrait be an accurate one, or will it reflect the way the painter sees the subject or the way the subject sees himself?
Portrait usually shows the way the painter sees the subject, and from them, the subject likes the ones that are closest to the way he sees himself… So where’s the truth?
What questions would we ask? What would we try to show apart from what we see – the eyes, the colour of the hair, the clothes and the bracelets?

Leave A Comment, Written on February 10th, 2012 , just thoughts Tags:

i haven’t written here or anywhere for a long time… and i find myself looking at this page like i was looking 4 years ago at the camera… i know where sthe on/off buttton is, but everything else i still have to discover…or remember…
i changed words for photos some time ago, and yet, i realize i cannot tell everything that crosses my mind or heart through photos.
so i’ll start again…

Leave A Comment, Written on December 29th, 2011 , just thoughts

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Leave A Comment, Written on April 26th, 2011 , kinda photos Tags: , ,

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