Archives

Archive for September, 2007

« Older Entries

autumn

Posted on Sunday, September 30th, 2007
today i saw the autumn. really saw it. in the falling of the leaves, in the wind making them dance on the streets. In the color of the forest. i smelt it in the air, saw it in the sky.
i already miss summer, but mostly i miss spring. i miss it for its smiles for it’s childish ignorance, for its warmth. i miss it for it’s beginning, for it’s first warm wind kissing things back to life.
i miss it for my smile that the hot summer burnt.

today i don’t feel like talking. I’m just feeling alone. perhaps it’s the autumn.

tomorrow is a new day, and I’ll start it with a visit to the doctor. yuppee!!!
it’s autumn, indeed.

Tags:

Posted in older by alinaki | No Comments Yet »

bulgaria

Posted on Saturday, September 29th, 2007
Back in the country, heading for bucharest, checking my emails, listening to music, and daydreaming. There were sao many old people at the hotel where our group was staying. Met them every morning at breakfast, and watching them being busy with their food, i wondered
again what is motivating them to keep living, every morning as they wake up. What usualy motivates me? The things that always made me wake up before the cock rang were: going to see my dad, going to Medias, my birthday, having a haircut, and, of course, being in love. Nights we
longer, till the morning of THE day came, the day before was a sweet expectation, which i always loved.

So i kept looking at them, wondering what was that which, through age, sicknesses, acceptance, makes them feel that thrill of expectation, makes them smile in the morning thinking ” it’s gonna be a great day today”. For 2 persons, i know. For my grandparents i was it. What about me? I hade a coyple of months in wich i feared every morning, cause i knew it wasn’t gonna bring any good. Not that i wanted any. And then, i started carying again for sunny mornings

Tags: ,

Posted in older by alinaki | No Comments Yet »

a useless gesture

Posted on Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

Today i did a nonsense. I’m not proud of it, i wish i did it
differently, but it’s ok. in these useless and perhaps stupid
gestures lies the beauty of life. Or maybe i am just trying to
compensate for other mistakes. A friend told me today this gesture is
useless. And i agreed. He was right. But again, i couldn’t move on,
get it out of my mind. And when i saw the woman’s eyes…jesus! I
wanted to escape this. Pass it on someone else. I’m not used to it,
and it is embarrassing. Maybe i made a mistake, and maybe i should
think of more important things, focus my energy on things that should
help me in my life. I don’t know. In that moment, this was important
to me. Maybe she reminded me of my grandma. No doubt she did. Maybe i
tried to compensate for the moments i wasn’t there for her. Maybe i
helped myself more.
i realized something though: when u want to do something, JUST DO IT.
(nike :p ).
flo asked me once i i wanted to recover all years i lost in my sis
life in a year. I was diplomat and did not answer. But now i am saying
it loud: YES!

so this is the story of the cake and the old lady.

Tags: , ,

Posted in older by alinaki | No Comments Yet »

« Older Entries