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Archive for October, 2008

Pain of awareness

Posted on Thursday, October 30th, 2008

Unwanted memories tend to blur into the past. the ones showing the “not so great you” vanish.
You usually remember the happpy ones, or the ones that hurt you. You almost never remember the ones of your hurting someone else.
You remember how you felt and never how the others felt.
You forget the data others remember. a 10 may can be more shocking than imagined.
And, right there, in the reflexion of a memory, you get a glimpse of the one you used to be, of the one the others remembered, of the many mistakes you’ve made, of the friends you’ve hurt, of the unspoken “i’m sorry”.

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Ghost of christmas past

Posted on Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Past comes upon you when you least expect it. It  brings back years of smiles and tears, of wondering and learning. Brings that flavor of simplicity you once loved. Maybe for a moment you’ll be able to escape you age, your thoughts, fears ans responsibilities and watch the world again through those eyes. Scaring and exciting at the same time.

It shows you how much you evolved through the eyes of the ones you’ve met at the beginning of the voyage. I was once saying “your friends, my friends, our friends”. how could i explain why i  needed “my friends”? Those people that knew me for ages, that knew me as a child, as a teenager? Those people i feel home with?  How could i explain i need my roots? I need to know where i came from, to know who I am?

How would past fit into the present? How much people change? It doesn’t matter, the bonds that kept them together never break.  It’s hard to build them, hard to trust new people. hard to match.

 So, how much people change? We’ll see…

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All you can

Posted on Sunday, October 26th, 2008

Sometimes you try to do all you can to find out it’s not enough. Then you try to do more, test your limits, push them forward. It’s a competition against yourself, against your limitations. It’a constant fight you have to win.

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