hot wine with cinnamon

On December 31, 2007 by alinaki
For me Christmas means that smell of hot wine with cinnamon that we used to drink at my grandma.
It means helping grandma make that traditional cake, with the flavors spreading all over the house.
It means spending time with my grandpa listening to him telling stories from the time he was a mining engineer.
It means listening to my grandma telling stories from Basarabia, from the time she was young.
It means all those things that made me feel like a child even when i wasn’t anymore.
Now all that is gone. and this is why i hate Christmas.

But there are moments, when I see people around caring, that i smile. and I think that life goes on. i just have to learn to live it.

i’m looking back at the year that passed and ask myself what has it taught me. It has taught me that all it takes to hurt is smile. That being sincere doesn’t imply reciprocity. That i can get hurt easier than i thought. That “i see people too beautiful and i’m gonna be disappointed”. That the thought of having been wrong about someone is frightening.
It taught me not to trust. It taught me people are blind and deaf.

It has taught me that pain will never go away. That “people, when they suffer, they are sincere and you can see, in that moments, the real them”- ironic…

It taught me what forgiveness means. That it comes when you are asking for the opposite. That i’m sorry means nothing, and yet people want to hear it. That there are people that love me more than i do, because they helped me when I was trying to destroy myself and everything inside me that I liked. That there are people who will care.

It has taught me that to help a friend is an honor. Asking for help is not the easiest thing to do. It means admitting you cannot do everything alone, that you need your friends. That is why i consider it an honor to be asked for help.

It has taught me that people are beautiful.

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