forgetting

On May 23, 2008 by alinaki

i hate forgetting. memories must come in shapes, and colours and tastes, and smells. they must come in feelings. i hate blurred pictures, sounds of distant voices and fade colours.

sad or happy, sugar sweet or tears salty, they must be strong. i’d rather cry for remembering than ignore by forgetting. i fear it so much. and it is happening, every moment. small details…little things. sometimes i am trying to remember things i really lik. and they come a little blurry. the harder i try to remember, the  more they vanish.

i have a small “collection” of useless little things. had one box full back home, but my mom threw them away. she asked, i approved. some letters, a chestnut i picked in a walk i took with my first boyfriend, a ring i found on the street in high school…these are the ones i remember…i regreted it after. they meant something, they kept memories closed inside the shapes, and colors and words. and i promised myself i will never throw anything away…anything that has a meaning to me…be it useless or not.  memories don’t always have a purpose…don’t always help you. they are just mirrors. mirrors of the way you felt at a certain time about a certain thing or person. times puts dust on it…the details dissapears, but you can still see the shapes, and the colors, feel the tastes, hear the sounds… they are  still there, inside.

 

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