15 march
yesterday was the 15th of march.
it’s been eight years since my father passed away.
i had an awfull day at work, not time to mourn. wanted to left early to go and light a candle, instead i left so late. didn’t fell like going to training, athough it was necessary. but it was ok then.
and i am thinking. 8 years. at first i couldn’t think how would it be without him. but life goes on.
i cried some days before, but not yesterday. i cried before i felt then so helplessly and sad and missed him. and i wished he was there again, to talk to him. and listen. he had such an influence on me. i admired him so much. one day, as we were in Oradea, and we were supposed to take the evening train, and i had no ticket, he was so late in returning from a friend of his, that i thought we were gonna miss the train. and i was angry. finally he came, and we went to the raiwaystation. and on the way, he said: “you know why i was late? cause you put me so high, seeing me so high above, i had to make you see i am human. ” now i am smiling at that, as i saw admired him even more on the years to come.
and he was human. i saw him smile, i saw him tired, i saw him laugh, i saw him angry and think i saw him love.
it’s been eight years since my father passed away.
i had an awfull day at work, not time to mourn. wanted to left early to go and light a candle, instead i left so late. didn’t fell like going to training, athough it was necessary. but it was ok then.
and i am thinking. 8 years. at first i couldn’t think how would it be without him. but life goes on.
i cried some days before, but not yesterday. i cried before i felt then so helplessly and sad and missed him. and i wished he was there again, to talk to him. and listen. he had such an influence on me. i admired him so much. one day, as we were in Oradea, and we were supposed to take the evening train, and i had no ticket, he was so late in returning from a friend of his, that i thought we were gonna miss the train. and i was angry. finally he came, and we went to the raiwaystation. and on the way, he said: “you know why i was late? cause you put me so high, seeing me so high above, i had to make you see i am human. ” now i am smiling at that, as i saw admired him even more on the years to come.
and he was human. i saw him smile, i saw him tired, i saw him laugh, i saw him angry and think i saw him love.
apart of me died or at least has fallen asleep when he left. that part of me he woke up. have to find it back.
i am surrounded by so many things from my father, so many books, one of his pipes, a cigarette case, some cristals.
have to go to work. and there is so much left.
