i cannot lose what i don’t have

On April 21, 2007 by alinaki

i cannot lose what i don’t have. cannot see past the horizon. cannot fear what i don’t know, cannot wish for something i don’t know if exists. i cannot miss Greece wouldn’t i have been there. we are all limited to what we know. and i am thinking that i will be going to the most beautiful place on earth, and i wished my grandparents or my father could see what i will. but i cannot share that with them.

yesterday a good friend of mine lost her boyfriend. and she was so sad. i tried to comfort her, to talk to her, i remained there for her. and, looking at her, i realize how lonely she must have felt, right there, in the middle of us.
in her pain, she was alone. as we all are. it doesn’t matter who is there with you, who is holding your hand, who is hugging you and tell you not to cry. inside, you are alone. no one cannot feel what you are feeling. can only try to understand. and i was helplessly. cause there was no way i could have reached inside her and take her hand. it was her pain to feel. and she was alone.
when the time comes and we leave, no matter who is crying by our side, we make the trip alone.
and it is the same i think whenn we feel something great. wach time i see the sea, i feel that thrill, that excitment which i cannot share, even if i wanted. it is mine to feel. in that very moment, in my feeling, i am alone, watching the sea.

probably what we feel or our thoughts makes us lonely. i don’t know

and i was thinking… wouldn’t have she been in love, she wouldn’t have suffered now. was it worthy? was it worthy giving all? was it worthy getting used to? was it worthy giving in? she now has to get to know again who is she as an individual, has to realize that she is beautiful, and smart, and sexy as woman, not as part of a couple. she has to realize that she can do it on her own. and i couldn’t tell her that. i mean i could have told her, but i couldn’t have put these thoughts inside her mind.
and i felt sad.

One Response to “i cannot lose what i don’t have”

  • deea

    that’s so sad:(
    I’m sorry about your friend…but keep supporting her, no matter what, she needs you to be there for her:(

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