blood drops

On February 5, 2009 by alinaki

My past is full of blood drops. Sometimes i need to be shaken to see them again. And i remembered tonight a saying: “for each thing you gain you loose one of the same value”…
And i was wondering…what have i lost for what i have now? Would i have done it differently? Would i have made less mistakes? Would i have run less?
Did everything i did got me here? To what i am now? Could i have avoided some of the tears? Could i have drawn less blood? Things are coming back to me…not arguing, as i feared, no resentful, as i expected…and that is making it even worse… It is making it even harder. It makes me wanna scream how bad i feel, yet i avoid it, smile and joke.

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