never be afraid to say what you feel…

On August 25, 2007 by alinaki
…you can only die once

I received a funny photo on this subject and I am still thinking about it.

This is the theory. But what constrains us? Or better said me? What makes me shut up?

Is it “the rules of the society”? Upsetting people? Scaring them? The fear of not being understood? Is it so important to please instead of actually saying something you think?

We are able to talk for hours about nonsense or daily facts but it is so hard to tell friends things like: “what I don’t like about you is that…”, or “you disappointed me”, or “I think you are lying”. There are moments when this is what we are thinkingand yet we are not saying them. Is it not upsetting them, or being liked by them more important than our own opinion? Than what we feel or think?

Hmmm… it depends. it shouldn’t, but actually it does. Does telling your friends what you don’t like at them helps? In the end it is your perception of them. It is the way you see them through your eyes. Through what you feel, through your background, through the experiences you had with the people you met.

It is so hard to admit to others we were wrong. We always look for excuses and motivations for which we did or didn’t do something, always outside of us. And when the logic killed every other reason, we finally admit it was us. It is not about excuses in which I don’t believe, but about having the guts to admit we were wrong. To simply say “it was my fault”.

We make a lot of compromises just to be polite. We see a friend dressed in the ugliest outfit ever, but we say he/she looks good, not to embarrass him/her. how would “if Angelina Jolie wore that it would still look like crap” sounds? It is what we think, right? Are we doing him/her good? They would think we are rude, but maybe it would have an impact. But again, it is our opinion on that outfit.

When someone hurts us, the rule is to play indifferent. Not to show that you care. not to give satisfaction. Yeap, it’s a way to prove nothing harms you. To prove that whoever she/he is that hurt you, she/he’s not that important. But if we are hurt, so what? It is just the way we are. We feel that way. Is it our pride that makes us hide our feelings? Do we have to stay on top, like oil on water? to show people we are smarter and better than that? That we are strong? Hurray to us!

There was a period I didn’t care if people saw I was not ok. Everybody around me asked, normally, if I was ok. And I answered to each “no, but i am still alive”. That was the truth. If my “not smiling” presence disturbed you, don’t mind me. I will stay quiet and mind my own business. When a friend of mine told me that he didn’t like the way behaved, cause it was obvious something what bothering me and that he would prefer to keep the distance, I was surprised that someone could think like that. Or better say, that someone could actually say it.

Well, it is Saturday, my job is done, gotta catch some sun.

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