the hermit

Dan Seracu was one of the most important occultists and biotherapists in Romania. He was a visionary, and he tried to share his ideas to everyone who wanted to listen and practice. Many of us didn’t believe him at first, but as we began to explore ‘the world of the unseen’, we started to understand him.

He was attracted to the parapsychology from a long time, but before 1989, under the communist regime, it was impossible to be ‘different’, so he just studied and improved his abilities in silence. After 1989, my first meet with the other side of my father was seeing him in a TV talk show about parapsychology phenomena, presented by Mr. Buzdugan. By that time, I knew that he was a chemistry researcher…

He created a new method of working in ALPHA state, The ‘Autocontrol’ but he also practiced diagnosis and therapy from distance. As he said himself, he began with the radiestezic instruments, but in time he realized he didn’t need them anymore, them being merely tools. He also practiced and wrote books on Crystal Therapy, Divination, Kabbala, he wrote an Encyclopedia of the Occult Sciences, he gave conferences, and lectures in many cities in Romania, he was a teacher, and a biotherapist.

Beside these, he was a simple man, living his life among family, friends, colleagues. He was intelligent, funny, gentle and also firm, he was everything I could wish for a father, and I can say that he was my best friend, because there was no one I could have trusted more than him.

He had many friends, from which I would like to remember the astrologer Firicel Ciarnau, my mentor and a dear friend of mine too, his cabinet colleague and apprentice, Theodor Vasile- Teo, as we call him, from whom I wish to learn all that my father has taught him.

He was my mentor, and everything I know now started from him. I still have a long way to go, and I wish he was here, to guide me again.


Dear Dad,  I love you.

Today instead of smiling I realized in the morning it was today…the day I learnt to live without my father. But then I spent it in the sun, with smiles and words and thoughts and photos…

And later today I realized I know what I came here to learn… “You are strong” –  this… And I realize now that looking back all those terrible times i can’t stop remembering were there for this…

Losing my grandma to learn pain, having my grandpa die in my arms to learn love,  photography to help me find the courage  to change a job that was not taking more than it was giving, losing you, to help me become myself .

So what about now?  I still was  not strong enough, or didn’t know I was to make changes. Changes to help me become me.

‘If i’t still in your mind, it’s worth taking the risk” – P. Coelho. It’s not about the risk, I realize now, it’s about the courage to do things.

“You have two choices. You’ll pick the worst one. Let’s see how to make it easier…” Remember? But I used to have the courage to make choices.


It is snowing, dad… I’ve always said you were my best friend… but i guess it’s not that what i am missing…it’s you being my dad…it’s that feeling of safety our “friendship” gave me…it’s knowing that “no matter what, you were there for me and i for you”…because you were my dad. i guess I’ve said it over and over again, and if not, i surely thought it…I am finally happy about the job…i love it…can’t stop feeling amazed when comparing it with bank system… as for the rest… i don’t know…i’m just tired… tired to worry, tired to dream…


Dear Dad…gave up the “serious job”, maybe because i found the lost “self-confidence” and realized i have the strength to start over again… i guess it was hiding in that old closet filled with broken dolls…


Good morning, dad

I had so many thoughts in my mind this morning, and now it’s like they’re hiding from me… I should tell you what i’ve been up to the last year… nothing changed, yet a lot did… lost all hope, then sort of found myself again, beneath all the dust … Realized that sometimes the problems around me are more close to my skin than i thought… lost all the remaining self confidence , learnt to live without it…not such a big loss after all… i’m not always the most reliable person for myself, nor my best friend…

i’ve stopped hoping for the future, stopped dreaming. i’m taking the present as it is, and still live in the past.

i still miss dance, still love photography, still have a serious job,  lost some kg, and i’m still smoking.

 i’m still the same, still smiling on the outside, still confused in the inside… still me

just more silent…

i miss you


10 years…when i did the counting, some days ago, i couldn’t believe…10 years… if i were to talk to you today, dad, catching up, what could i say?

“Dear dad…

i kinda did nothing… well, i started to love photography…:) and this month i started astrology classes with firicel… and i met people that loved you, and i realized that there are more people that loved you than i knew… i still love you, and i still miss you. i’m still afraid of forgetting… i’m still afraid of looking at the videotape with you…i’ll try to catch up, start again… maybe i wasn’t grown enough… maybe i disappointed you…maybe you have the patience to wait for me to wake up. do you?

i still love 31 may and hate 15 march…i still don’t know what i want, i’m still confuse… yeap, it’s still me. i do remember your saying “you cannot meditate on an empty stomach”…and now, my job, if it could, would let no time or energy for anything else, but you know, they will not win this… :)

dan…is still on his path…good or bad, and bianca and danutz are growing each day… doris…she’s my biggest failure. maybe she’s ok… but i wish i could have given her a little of me…the best parts…and she still has “resentments” against what you were, more than our father…but i think it is only the pain of not having you as she grew up…

i wish i fell you more here, with me…there were so many moments i needed you to tell me what to do, to hold me and tell me it’s gonna be ok.  or maybe i’t still to insensitive… too caught in little nothings to feel… and yet, when i look in the mirror, i see you there… the woman looking back has your eyes, and your heart.

i love you dad.”


“The day my world was born without my father.yep. a birthday…but the wrong one…

the day that everything turned into memories to be blurred by time. the day i lost a friend. the day i lost my father. the day … the day i lost a big part of me. the day o lost a way of living and thinking. the day small touchable things started to matter more that the “invisible” ones. the day i first met my regrets. and i could go on an on. instead i keep looking on the internet for small traces, for borrowed words, for footprints on the cold sand. only the man that made them is not in front of me, but behind. so maybe i should start looking for the part he left inside me. the “Him” that remained in me.

Happy birthday, world! I hate you! :(


“yesterday was the 15th of march.
it’s been eight years since my father passed away.
i had an awful day at work, not time to mourn. wanted to left early to go and light a candle, instead i left so late. didn’t fell like going to training, although it was necessary. but it was ok then.
and i am thinking. 8 years. at first i couldn’t think how would it be without him. but life goes on.
i cried some days before, but not yesterday. i cried before i felt then so helplessly and sad and missed him. and i wished he was there again, to talk to him. and listen. he had such an influence on me. i admired him so much. one day, as we were in Oradea, and we were supposed to take the evening train, and i had no ticket, he was so late in returning from a friend of his, that i thought we were gonna miss the train. and i was angry. finally he came, and we went to the railway station. and on the way, he said: “you know why i was late? cause you put me so high, seeing me so high above, i had to make you see i am human. ” now i am smiling at that, as i saw admired him even more on the years to come. :) and he was human. i saw him smile, i saw him tired, i saw him laugh, i saw him angry and think i saw him love.

apart of me died or at least has fallen asleep when he left. that part of me he woke up. have to find it back.
i am surrounded by so many things from my father, so many books, one of his pipes, a cigarette case, some crystals.

have to go to work. and there is so much left.”

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